Manufacturers Recall (affecting all of us)

Discussion in 'General Motoring' started by IlBeBauck, Mar 5, 2009.

  1. IlBeBauck

    IlBeBauck Guest

    *RECALL NOTICE:*
    The Maker of all human beings *(GOD)* is recalling
    all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious
    defect
    in the primary and central component of the heart.

    This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code
    named
    Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all
    subsequent units. This defect has been technically termed
    'Sub-sequential Internal Non-Morality,' or more commonly known as
    S..I.N., as it is primarily expressed.

    Some of the symptoms include:
    1. Loss of direction
    2. Foul vocal emissions
    3. Amnesia of origin
    4. Lack of peace and joy
    5. Selfish or violent behavior
    6. Confusion in the mental component
    7. Fearfulness
    8. Idolatry
    9. Rebellion

    The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect,
    is
    providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to
    correct this defect.

    The Repair Technician, *Jesus,* has most generously offered to bear
    the
    entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no
    additional fee required.

    The number to call for repair in all areas is: *P-R-A-Y-E-R.* Once
    connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE
    procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician,
    *Jesus,*
    into the heart component.

    No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, *Jesus* will replace it
    with:
    *1. Love
    2. Joy
    3. Peace
    4. Patience
    5. Kindness
    6. Goodness
    7. Faithfulness
    8. Gentleness
    9. Self control*

    *Please:*_
    see the operating manual, the *B.I.B.L.E*. (Believers'
    Instructions Before Leaving Earth) for further details on the use of
    these fixes.

    WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without
    correction
    voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and
    problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being
    permanently impounded. For free emergency service, call on Jesus.

    DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action
    will
    have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be
    permitted
    to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility.

    Thank you for your attention!

    *GOD*

    P.S. Please assist where possible by notifying others of this
    important
    recall notice, and you may contact the Father any time by *'Knee-
    mail'.*
     
    IlBeBauck, Mar 5, 2009
    #1
  2. IlBeBauck

    Juts Me Guest

    Amen!!!!

    Steve in AZ
     
    Juts Me, Mar 6, 2009
    #2
  3. IlBeBauck

    IlBeBauck Guest

    Thank you for that one amen !!!
     
    IlBeBauck, Mar 8, 2009
    #3
  4. IlBeBauck

    Ken Guest

    Prosetyltizing asshole
     
    Ken, Mar 8, 2009
    #4
  5. IlBeBauck

    IlBeBauck Guest

    If you want to avoid weeping and nashing of teeth right after this
    short earthly life because you were hoping there was no such thing as
    a Creator for the Cosmos...then please accept my prosetyltizing
    attempts so God can save your Soul.

    Also, the use of foul language is completely unnecessary ... both in
    this NG and in life in general. Regards.
     
    IlBeBauck, Mar 10, 2009
    #5
  6. IlBeBauck

    dgk Guest


    Foul langauge is just letters and words. It's your interpretation that
    makes it unacceptable to you. And if asshole causes you problems, try
    stuffing it.
     
    dgk, Mar 11, 2009
    #6
  7. IlBeBauck

    Voyager Guest

    Nothing like watching two juveniles wrestle in the mud...
     
    Voyager, Mar 11, 2009
    #7
  8. IlBeBauck

    CBX2 Guest

    perhaps, if you're a pedophile. personally i prefer full grown and well
    built woman for my mud wrestling viewing pleasure.
     
    CBX2, Mar 12, 2009
    #8
  9. IlBeBauck

    Voyager Guest

    Full grown as your age is what, 8, maybe 10?
     
    Voyager, Mar 13, 2009
    #9
  10. Some Of the good representatives Of the manufacturer that have by their own
    admission went right square to be with Jesus have already polluted the
    golden boulevards of heaven and left a brown stain of stupidity, hypocrisy
    , and politicized religionist nonsense on the pearly gates as their fat
    bodies grazed the sides when entering.
     
    Elmo Finsterwald, Mar 26, 2009
    #10
  11. IlBeBauck

    news Guest

    that was great. AMEN!

    JC!
     
    news, Mar 27, 2009
    #11
Ask a Question

Want to reply to this thread or ask your own question?

You'll need to choose a username for the site, which only take a couple of moments (here). After that, you can post your question and our members will help you out.